- How do Minecraft players celebrate? With block parties!
- Why do M&M’s go to school? So they can become Smarties.
- Lief loves to fish, but wanted to get into hunting. He went to buy camouflage pants, but couldn't find any.
- Croco-help - Kristina or Juku, first try Toronto (Moose and Beaver Juice, eh?), London (Big Ben's Thirst Buster), Japan (Super ppy Kitty Drink), Hermit in Himalayas (Croco-help!) "Our replacement for Gatorade will be...Crocohelp"
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
- I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
- What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
- A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup.”
- My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- Why don't seagulls live next to the bay? Because then they would be bagels.
- Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet? If they don't, they'll be lost at C.
- What do you call someone who gets angry when they don’t get their toast? Lack-of-toast intolerant.
- What did the sushi say to the bee? Wazza-bee
- How does a cat like its steak? Raaaaarrre (said like a cat noise, showing your claws)